Fish swim, birds fly, people feel.
– HAIM GINOTT
Keep dating to figure out what you want. Conflict is normal and natural in all relationships. Goodwill and assertiveness solves problems. If the sex was good, from the first minute after Phase Two begins, she’s obsessed with “Where is this going?”
When that type of question or comment comes up, long pause. Pondering: “I don’t know . . . Positive and sincere: I really enjoy what we have!” STFU and wait. Manuel Smith’s methods work like magic should she press you for an answer. Be prepared.
This series is about getting ready for Dream Girl by making mistakes to learn from with ordinary women. Why? So when you make mistake(s) big enough to destroy the relationship(s) you learn what NOT to do before Dream Girl “just appears”.
She might be “hiring” a boyfriend. Your “resume” must have the appropriate experience with women and life. Most guys are not “qualified” because they don’t have the background the desirable “hiring manager” wants!
If you haven’t had several relationships, no desirable woman, let alone Dream Girl wants anything to do with you! Why? For the same reasons companies don’t hire you to do a complex job if you don’t have experience.
Women do the choosing. All you can to is behave like the best boyfriend-to-be possible and maybe she’ll choose you. Don’t ask if you are her boyfriend! Any version of that question destroys your power. When you lose your power, you are a loser!
Be romantic! Suggest a walk. Hold her hand. Act like a gentleman all the time. Pull out her chair and hold it for her. Help her with her coat. Give her a piece of chocolate candy individually wrapped like Almond Roca.
Men pay lip service to the fact that love relationships are by definition emotional. Then try to think their way through the normal emotional problems that arise. Why? Because that usually how a man got to where he is in life, by being logical!
Western civilization.causes 95 percent of women who are angry to cry instead of yelling and screaming! Men who are hurt, yell and scream instead of crying. Why? We have been brainwashed! In our culture, women can have any emotion except anger. Men can’t be weak, helpless, ignorant, afraid or most other human emotions, they can be ANGRY. This means most misunderstandings can be resolved successfully after the crying and yelling have stopped for a few hours, maybe days!
How you two deal with normal friction in the beginning sets the ground rules for the relationship. Whatever you two do about normal friction and minor disagreements determines what happens to love and caring when major differences arise, as they must.
Yelling, arguing and using hurtful words is not communication. That kind of behavior comes from a need to be right!
Ask yourself, “Would I rather be happy or right?” That keeps everything important in perspective!
Major trouble is caused by relatives, hers or yours, usually both. Have as little to do with trouble causing people as possible.
Respect yourself. Speak up and say what you want. Respect her and shut up about what she wants or needs to do for herself.
Helping is not helpful. Each person must find her way to become responsible for her own life! Helping only delays that and pisses her off! This is an ultra difficult lesson for most people to learn.
