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Understand Her, Chapter 2

Understand Her, Chapter 2

August 27, 2016 by R. Don Steele

I describe the unsettled life and troubled times of the typical 20 year old who can become interested in dating a man. When you understand her you only need to know, on average, younger ones are worse in every way, better in none. The older ones are better in every way, worse in none.

Double the general disarray of this 20 year old’s life for a 19 year old. Quadruple it for an 18 year old. If she’s still in high school, multiply by ten.

For each year past 21 her problem is reduced by twenty five percent. A 23 year old living away from home has eliminated two thirds of the 20 year old’s negative situation, if she has no kids. With even one, her problems are twenty times greater than any 18 year old’s.

A couple of years out of high school her old world falls apart. Friends move away or marry and have kids, others stay at college all year. She’s standing with one foot in the teen-age world, the other in the adult world, at 20.

However, a female of 22 retains all the good qualities of being young but has discarded most of the baggage and burdens of youth. With her enlarged sense of self she’s much simpler to deal with, requiring far less time and energy on your part initially and throughout the affair. But, I had to find out for myself about 18 year olds. You will too, probably.

THE TYPICAL 20 YEAR OLD

She lives with a couple of roommates but only recently left home. She’s never lived with her boyfriend. She has a job or is going to college. She has a car. She doesn’t have a drug problem. She may have had an abortion, the odds are 80-20 against it. Her IQ is 110. She gave her first hand job at 15, then gave up her virginity at the Junior Prom. Her best sex was with some guy she picked up one weekend in Palm Springs. He was 26 but never called when she got back to LA like he promised.

…

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Filed Under: Featured, Relationships

EXCERPT 1 V1 CHAPTER ONE

EXCERPT 1 V1 CHAPTER ONE

August 27, 2016 by R. Don Steele

You’re interested in, no, that’s way too weak. You’re lusting after young females. Trouble is, you don’t have the slightest idea how to meet, talk with and date them.

Seen many men dating girls 18 to 24 years old? That’s not because the men don’t want to, now is it? Could it be ten million of them read the book quoted below pr atteded a Pick Up Artist’s Bootcamp? The poor saps think all they have to do is walk up and spew one of the author’s “100 Best Opening Lines.”

The first, and really the only thing it takes to pick up girls, is to talk to them. Basically that’s it. You find a chick who turns you on, you stroll right up to her, and you say, ‘That dimple on your left knee is absolutely sensational!’ . . . That’s all there is to it. If you can do that, you can really pick up girls. By the truckloads! ERIC WEBER, How To Pick Up Girls: Featuring Interviews With 25 Beautiful Girls. (Or fill in the name of any PUA and his “course” or “program” or way over priced E book.)

…

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Filed Under: Relationships

Backburner Relationships

Backburner Relationships

February 22, 2015 by R. Don Steele

This recent study was full of academic jargon and psychobabble, I rewrote it. (If you want to read the original, the url is at the bottom.)

Definition: A backburner is a someone you are not involved with but want to be. You maintain communication by text or email or facebook or even skype. That keeps the possibility of romantic/sexual rolling along. From an evolutionary view it makes a sense. ALL women do this and some men. More in a minute.

A 2007 study found love motivates people to shut down other options. This is consistent with research that suggests people in relationships don’t pay as much attention to others.

With all this as background, Dibble reasoned people in committed relationships would keep fewer people on the backburner. What surprised him was there was no significant difference between the number of backburners kept by people in relationships, and the number kept by single people!

All this study really showed is most people keep some alternatives on the backburner. That’s not a new phenomenon: “In the old days it was called keeping people in your little black book,” Dibble says….

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Filed Under: Relationships

How to Not Try

How to Not Try

December 3, 2014 by R. Don Steele

If you’re trying, you’re dying
– Dream Girl Series

How to Not TryRewritten and distilled by Steele so you don’t have to read thru a boring, verbose article full of name dropping and “how educated am I” nonsense. It did have something for MOSB once I took a meat cleaver to it. A link to the original article is at the bottom.

Woven into human nature is the desire to be accepted and liked. But, when you reek of effort you become unattractive socially and intellectually. Socializing and dating are two major areas in life where you can’t succeed unless you’re NOT trying.

With women, trying was never in style. Cool is always in style which simply means moving through the world at effortlessly and effectively.

Wu-wei is like the automatic flow of being in the zone. Effortless action and spontaneity. The source of all success in life is a confidence without arrogance, a quality people find irresistibly attractive….

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Filed Under: Relationships

Women with More Male Friends Have More Sex

Women with More Male Friends Have More Sex

November 26, 2014 by R. Don Steele

Most women probably don’t make a connection between how many male friends they have and how much sex they’re having in their relationship. But a new shows, for evolutionary reasons, this has a direct influence on how much more. The research, which was recently published in the Journal of Comparative Psychology, shows a man who considers his partner attractive to others has more sex with her. Whether they know it consciously men perceive other males in their partner’s life as sexual threats.

Evolutionary psychologists call it sperm competition, which means a man tries harder to impregnate his partner if he thinks he has competition. These men feel jealousy, consciously or not. Researchers found couples had more sex when the woman had greater interaction with other men. The more males in his woman’s life the more he initiates sex….

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Filed Under: Relationships

Hen House Penetration

Hen House Penetration

November 26, 2014 by R. Don Steele

Young women and not so young women band together to prevent each other from meeting any male especially an older, attractive man! They act like nuns keeping and eye on each other when away from their boyfriends in a bar or a classroom. Classic “group cock-blocking”!

Once a hen house forms, it’s as impossible to meet her as it is to exchange numbers with a young woman bank teller who is surrounded by envious, hostile females on all sides. Hens will say and do anything to keep her from talking with a rooster like you for more than 20 seconds! Why? Not a one of them is a genuine friend who wants her to be happy. They all want her to stay in a boring relationship like each of them is!…

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Filed Under: Relationships

Lizards – Labor Unions and Sexual Unions

Lizards – Labor Unions and Sexual Unions

November 15, 2014 by R. Don Steele

A furtive glance, a nervous chat, and finally you dare to ask that girl for her phone number. When you meet her on a first date, you will wear your best shirt and your new Italian shoes, and when you drive her to the new Greek restaurant your car will be freshly waxed. When humans date, they do pretty fancy stuff .

Some animals, however, do even more stunning things. For bragging rights, certain male lizards develop bright orange scarves around their necks. Because these capricious ornaments are biologically costly for the lizards, male lizards try to impress females by showing that they are strong enough to waste some of their energy on fancy displays, says Barry Sinervo, a behavioral biologist at the University of California, Santa Cruz (UCSC). Indeed, many animals and humans show off their strength by flashing these seemingly inefficient and wasteful signs. It’s a form of conversation that not only rules dating but also many other conflicts, such as wage negotiations between unions and firms.

This is the conclusion of a group of researchers who call themselves game theorists. The researchers use games like poker as metaphors to try to explain strategies that conflicting parties use when they either disagree or try to persuade their opponents to adopt their own points of view. Economists were the first to use mathematics to model such situations. They view trading situations as games between consumers and sellers, and wage negotiations as matches between unions and companies. Later, scientists from different fields started using the same models and helped to move the field forward. For instance, evolutionary biologists explained the strange dating behavior they observed in lizards and birds using game theory….

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Filed Under: Relationships

Anatomy of Love; The Natural History of Monogamy, Adultery, and Divorce

Anatomy of Love; The Natural History of Monogamy, Adultery, and Divorce

November 14, 2014 by R. Don Steele

I agree with much of but not all of this article. Helen and I talked on the phone about romantic love as she uses the term. She holds that love is love no matter if it’s primatives in the jungle or a couple in Starbucks. I believe that romantic love in western civilization is the love of one specific individual we pick from the multitudes. In hunter-gather societies, arranged marriage societies, pre-literate societies love is nothing like the love we experience. We agreed to disagree. 90% of this applies to western civilization and you!

Adapted from Anatomy of Love; The Natural History of Monogamy, Adultery, and Divorce, by Helen E. Fisher. Copyright C 1992 by Helen E. Fisher. Reprinted by arrangement with W. W. Norton & Co., Inc.

In an apocryphal story, a colleague once turned to the great British geneticist J.B.S. Haldane, and said, “Tell me, Mr. Haldane, knowing what you do about nature, what can you tell me about God?” Haldane replied, “He has an inordinate fondness for beetles.” Indeed, the world contains over 300,000 species of beetles. I would add that “God” loves the human mating game, for no other aspect of our behavior is so complex, so subtle, or so pervasive. And although these sexual strategies differ from one individual to the next, the essential choreography of human courtship, love, and marriage has myriad designs that seem etched into the human psyche, the product of time, selection, and evolution. They begin the moment men and women get within courting range with the way we flirt….

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Understand Her, Chapter 2

Understand Her, Chapter 2

I describe the unsettled life and troubled times of the typical 20 year old who can become interested in dating a man. When you understand her you only need to know, on average, younger ones are worse in every way, better in none. The older ones are better in every way, worse in none. Double the general disarray of this 20 year old’s life for a 19 year old. Quadruple it for an 18 year old. If she’s still in high school, multiply by ten. For each year past 21 her problem is reduced by twenty five percent. A 23 year old living away from home has eliminated two thirds of the 20 year old’s ...

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Recent Posts

  • Understand Her, Chapter 2
  • EXCERPT 1 V1 CHAPTER ONE
  • Is She Flirting With Me?
  • Backburner Relationships
  • Why Let It Happen Works
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Gary from Wilmington, DE
When I first read How To date Young Women series I became a believer instantly. At the time I was grossly overweight, perpetually angry, used , and manipulated by almost everyone I knew. I was bewildered and confused about women. Through Don's books and videos, I learned about women, about relationships and about liking myself. Right now I am dating two women with a third ...
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Gary from Wilmington, DE
When I first read How To date Young Women series I became a believer instantly. At the time I was grossly overweight, perpetually angry, used , and manipulated by almost everyone I knew. I was bewildered and confused about women. Through Don's books and videos, I learned about women, about relationships and about liking myself. Right now I am dating two women with a third ...
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George from Los Angeles, CA
I have been to four of Don's workshops. They work wonders. The skills he teaches are priceless and can be learned nowhere else on this planet at any time in the past or in the future. I used to be clueless and 'hoped' something good would happen to me. But through Dons teachings I have found the way and the truth about women, how to ...
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Mason Parker from Vermont
I bought Don Steele's book, "How to Date Young Women" back in 1997. Though I had met a lot of women over the years, I usually didn't get more than one or two dates. After I read his books, I began to get more dates and the relationships lasted longer. Hearing his radio show CDs and attending workshops speeded up the process. At the workshops I ...
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Alex from Los Angeles, CA
I found Don's books a couple of years ago. I was 35 and very frustrated and confused about women. I was tired or hearing "just be yourself" or "you're such a nice guy." I really didn't know what worked or why. After reading DonÃs books and following his program, I've had more dates in the last two weeks then I had in the last two ...
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Rick from Seattle, WA
All my life prior to Don's books I was basically a wimp, scared, anti-social, terrified of meeting and talking with people and especially women. I bought Don's books on Office Politics, How to Date Young Women, Body Language and began an aggressive campaign to regain my soul, in short, I went ape-shit. For the first time in ages, I feel alive. Thanks Don for everything ...
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Vincent from Tucson, AZ
Before I met Don I didn't know how to dress, how to talk to women or how to get over my divorce. I learned what to say...What not to say...What to never, ever fucking say! And now I'm happily living with the girl of my dreams!
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Paul from England
I watched on the sidelines as my friends dated and mated with many females. Then, I hit Don's site. I decided to buy "How To Date Young Woman for Men over 35" just to see if it would do me any good. I couldn't believe how true it was. It was as if the book had been specifically written for me. I went on to ...
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Mark from Los Angeles, CA
I found one of Don's books on Amazon a few weeks ago, by chance. I looked at his Website and ordered a couple of books. I've always acted as if "the nicer I am, the greater the chance she will take interest in me." Nice, nice nice...I've got "nice" down. In the past few weeks, I've replaced "nice" with Don's teaching: confident and slightly aloof. ...
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Robert from Detroit, MI
I've been browsing the Web for 7 years and R. Don Steele's website and the discussion group is the best resource I have ever come across bar none. Low self-esteem, lack of confidence and absolutely no dating skills are things of the past. As I think about my future it looks bright for me and I know the best is yet to come.
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Fred Argonati from Los Angeles, CA
In the 2.5 years since I met RDS, I'm making new friends and I'm dating again. I'm physically healthier than I've ever been in my life. I learned how to take care of myself and, most of all, I learned how to like myself. I've always thanked the heavens for helping me find RDS and his wife JBL. Life would have been darker if it ...
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Derek from San Francisco, CA
What a difference 60 days makes!!! I ran across steelballs.com completely by accident one day and just started scanning the site. I quickly figured out that this guy is someone that takes dating seriously! The last 60 days have shown me that small changes in small ways make for big changes in the important parts of my life. Thanks Don!!! You rock!
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Chris from Las Vegas, NV
I've learned so much from one simple work shop. With the right attitude, things that used to be difficult suddenly become rather easy. I know, I'm living it right now. Things are getting so goooood in my life I can hardly stand it!
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Pedro from Portugal
I am so excited with this (now dating 3 women perhaps 4), that I was almost unable to sleep thinking about best plans to court and date pearls! Thank you for everything.
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Jeff from New Mexico
At 27 years old I was an angry, bitter, confused and lonely virgin. I had did not understand women. After reading Don's books, I started acting more confident. I started dressing better, wearing cologne, and picking up on body language. Females started to notice me and then it happened - that summer I had 4 or 5 young women who were interested in me! Don ...
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Michael Dave from Seattle, WA
I was lonely, jaded and frustrated. I wondered why this was so difficult! By reading Don's books and following his methods, I realized that I did not understand women. He taught me how to dress successfully, how to make myself attractive to women what to do and what to say. In short, how to be the man she wants me to be. Thank you Don ...
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Rob from Michigan
I went to the June TRA Workshop it was one of the best decisions I made. I was a little apprehensive I didn't know what was going to happen, I felt like I would be found out, to be a loser. Thankfully that wasn't the case, in fact I learned more then I ever expected.
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Grant from Netherlands
Three years ago I experienced the worst period in my life with regards to dating woman. Luckily one day I stumbled on How to date Young woman by Don Steele. I started to practice what Don Steele has learned from his own experience, and I soon noticed a quantum jump in my own results with woman after following his advice. I cannot express my gratitude ...
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Ken Kern from Wilmington, DE
I am 53 years old, and was divorced 6 years ago. I used to work 14 hours a day, had no life and then had a heart attack. The process of divorce and my heart attack ruined my life in many regards. After my divorce I tried several psychologists and found they were a total waste of time. Attending Don Steele's program led directly to feelings of ...
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Carlye
It's a plresuae to find someone who can identify the issues so clearly
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Greg from Boston, MA
When I decided to get back into the dating world, I bought all your books. I married my 22 year old bride in April. Thanks a million!
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Rob from Florida
After my divorce, dating was tough. I realized I really didn't know how to do it, I just wanted to enjoy it. Then I found read How to Date Young Women and found a way that worked for me. Now I am dating several women at the same time! Thank you Don!
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Patrick from Las Vegas, NV
After my divorce, I bought Don's book How To Date Young Women for Men Over 35 and was stunned and amazed by the content. Soon I started a year long, wonderful relationship with a 25 yr. old. When that ended, I decided not to stick with just one person and at one point I was seeing four women at the same time. To say that ...
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Mike from Bellevue
I've been to 3 workshops now and after each one, my skills have dramatically improved. I started trying to date very late in life (at 32) and seriously stumbled many times being a clueless, nice guy. I asked all the wrong women and did not know what to do. I was a lonely, frustrated man at the end of my rope. At my first workshop, ...
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Bryan Sing from Dallas, TX
I first read R. Don Steele's years ago in an attempt to improve my dating life. I was clueless about women and dating. Since then, I have had much greater success than I ever imagined dating attractive women. Surprisingly, the quest to meet and date women led to a period of self-examination and discovery that continues to this day. I have learned more about all ...

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