You’re interested in, no, that’s way too weak. You’re lusting after young females. Trouble is, you don’t have the slightest idea how to meet, talk with and date them.

Seen many men dating girls 18 to 24 years old? That’s not because the men don’t want to, now is it? Could it be ten million of them read the book quoted below pr atteded a Pick Up Artist’s Bootcamp? The poor saps think all they have to do is walk up and spew one of the author’s “100 Best Opening Lines.”

The first, and really the only thing it takes to pick up girls, is to talk to them. Basically that’s it. You find a chick who turns you on, you stroll right up to her, and you say, ‘That dimple on your left knee is absolutely sensational!’ . . . That’s all there is to it. If you can do that, you can really pick up girls. By the truckloads! ERIC WEBER, How To Pick Up Girls: Featuring Interviews With 25 Beautiful Girls. (Or fill in the name of any PUA and his “course” or “program” or way over priced E book.)

…

This recent study was full of academic jargon and psychobabble, I rewrote it. (If you want to read the original, the url is at the bottom.)

Definition: A backburner is a someone you are not involved with but want to be. You maintain communication by text or email or facebook or even skype. That keeps the possibility of romantic/sexual rolling along. From an evolutionary view it makes a sense. ALL women do this and some men. More in a minute.

A 2007 study found love motivates people to shut down other options. This is consistent with research that suggests people in relationships don’t pay as much attention to others.

With all this as background, Dibble reasoned people in committed relationships would keep fewer people on the backburner. What surprised him was there was no significant difference between the number of backburners kept by people in relationships, and the number kept by single people!

All this study really showed is most people keep some alternatives on the backburner. That’s not a new phenomenon: “In the old days it was called keeping people in your little black book,” Dibble says….

If you’re trying, you’re dying
– Dream Girl Series

Rewritten and distilled by Steele so you don’t have to read thru a boring, verbose article full of name dropping and “how educated am I” nonsense. It did have something for MOSB once I took a meat cleaver to it. A link to the original article is at the bottom.

Woven into human nature is the desire to be accepted and liked. But, when you reek of effort you become unattractive socially and intellectually. Socializing and dating are two major areas in life where you can’t succeed unless you’re NOT trying.

With women, trying was never in style. Cool is always in style which simply means moving through the world at effortlessly and effectively.

Wu-wei is like the automatic flow of being in the zone. Effortless action and spontaneity. The source of all success in life is a confidence without arrogance, a quality people find irresistibly attractive….

Most women probably don’t make a connection between how many male friends they have and how much sex they’re having in their relationship. But a new shows, for evolutionary reasons, this has a direct influence on how much more. The research, which was recently published in the Journal of Comparative Psychology, shows a man who considers his partner attractive to others has more sex with her. Whether they know it consciously men perceive other males in their partner’s life as sexual threats.

Evolutionary psychologists call it sperm competition, which means a man tries harder to impregnate his partner if he thinks he has competition. These men feel jealousy, consciously or not. Researchers found couples had more sex when the woman had greater interaction with other men. The more males in his woman’s life the more he initiates sex….

Young women and not so young women band together to prevent each other from meeting any male especially an older, attractive man! They act like nuns keeping and eye on each other when away from their boyfriends in a bar or a classroom. Classic “group cock-blocking”!

Once a hen house forms, it’s as impossible to meet her as it is to exchange numbers with a young woman bank teller who is surrounded by envious, hostile females on all sides. Hens will say and do anything to keep her from talking with a rooster like you for more than 20 seconds! Why? Not a one of them is a genuine friend who wants her to be happy. They all want her to stay in a boring relationship like each of them is!…

A furtive glance, a nervous chat, and finally you dare to ask that girl for her phone number. When you meet her on a first date, you will wear your best shirt and your new Italian shoes, and when you drive her to the new Greek restaurant your car will be freshly waxed. When humans date, they do pretty fancy stuff .

Some animals, however, do even more stunning things. For bragging rights, certain male lizards develop bright orange scarves around their necks. Because these capricious ornaments are biologically costly for the lizards, male lizards try to impress females by showing that they are strong enough to waste some of their energy on fancy displays, says Barry Sinervo, a behavioral biologist at the University of California, Santa Cruz (UCSC). Indeed, many animals and humans show off their strength by flashing these seemingly inefficient and wasteful signs. It’s a form of conversation that not only rules dating but also many other conflicts, such as wage negotiations between unions and firms.

This is the conclusion of a group of researchers who call themselves game theorists. The researchers use games like poker as metaphors to try to explain strategies that conflicting parties use when they either disagree or try to persuade their opponents to adopt their own points of view. Economists were the first to use mathematics to model such situations. They view trading situations as games between consumers and sellers, and wage negotiations as matches between unions and companies. Later, scientists from different fields started using the same models and helped to move the field forward. For instance, evolutionary biologists explained the strange dating behavior they observed in lizards and birds using game theory….

I agree with much of but not all of this article. Helen and I talked on the phone about romantic love as she uses the term. She holds that love is love no matter if it’s primatives in the jungle or a couple in Starbucks. I believe that romantic love in western civilization is the love of one specific individual we pick from the multitudes. In hunter-gather societies, arranged marriage societies, pre-literate societies love is nothing like the love we experience. We agreed to disagree. 90% of this applies to western civilization and you!

Adapted from Anatomy of Love; The Natural History of Monogamy, Adultery, and Divorce, by Helen E. Fisher. Copyright C 1992 by Helen E. Fisher. Reprinted by arrangement with W. W. Norton & Co., Inc.

In an apocryphal story, a colleague once turned to the great British geneticist J.B.S. Haldane, and said, “Tell me, Mr. Haldane, knowing what you do about nature, what can you tell me about God?” Haldane replied, “He has an inordinate fondness for beetles.” Indeed, the world contains over 300,000 species of beetles. I would add that “God” loves the human mating game, for no other aspect of our behavior is so complex, so subtle, or so pervasive. And although these sexual strategies differ from one individual to the next, the essential choreography of human courtship, love, and marriage has myriad designs that seem etched into the human psyche, the product of time, selection, and evolution. They begin the moment men and women get within courting range with the way we flirt….