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The Right Attitude

Women see you as good provider and protector
but, your unspoken attitude is I can take it or leave it.
Date Young Women

Rhett ButlerWomen are attracted to a man who won’t kiss ass. They are strongly drawn by indifference, feigned or real. She will date you only if you’re friendly, aloof, relaxed, powerful and confident.

Your unspoken attitude is: “I am the catch here, not you. I’m not going to chase you. Sure I’m friendly, I’m friendly with all the girls. Yeah, I’m somewhat interested. It might be possible if you play your cards right. Well, gotta go, there’s a nice woman waiting for me. Catch you later. By the way, you’re not bad.”

Later, it’s still unspoken: “Going out with me is natural. I’m attracted to you, you’re attracted to me. You have a choice, a man or lots of boys. Well, gotta go, there’s a nice woman waiting for me. She likes what I do with her. You will too.

And even later, still unspoken, it’s: “If not tonight, no biggie, we will. I’m in no hurry. Let’s watch TV for awhile.”

Finally, spoken, it’s: “No. I have plans tonight. Look, I’ve said this before. I don’t like anyone coming over without calling first. Please don’t do it again, okay. What? Sure, I’ll call you.”

How to Get TRA, How to Keep TRA

I tell you what the right attitude is, then explain how you begin developing it. Development is an ongoing never-ending process. You only get better, never perfect.

Step One: Feeling Like an Equal

Developing the right attitude begins with the belief and the inner feeling you’re the equal of desirable women no matter what age they are. If you feel age makes you better, you won’t get anywhere. If you feel inferior, you will be.

Long ago and far away in another life I decided to go after some “young stuff.” I was forty pounds overweight, couldn’t run around the block, had a corner office with ulcer, dressed in polyester, wore sideburns and mustache, drove a Sedan De Ville, lived “in the heights,” listened to dentist office musak and was unhappily married.

I felt old, acted old, thought old and was old, in spirit. In fact, I was 32 going on 52. I felt inferior to youth. They had, both males and females, something magical, something I’d lost half my life ago. I wanted it back. Deeply fearing I’d be rejected and laughed at, I had to force myself.

I began at work, going out of my way to say hello and be friendly with anyone under 35. Eventually I made friends with a 20 year old receptionist. Within weeks she introduced me to many other young people.

Six months later I was running 10K’s with some “dudes” from work. A month later, I was drinking beer with them at their parties where I met and talked with females 16 to 25.

A few months later I was able to approach and have secret, pure sex affairs with several young women at the office. As you know by now they were with me because I was married, not in spite of it. Somehow, some way, you have to get started, then end up feeling like an equal, too.

Step Two: Slow and Easy

I’m never rock solid confident even after all these years in the arena. You’re never going to be completely confident either, so work on being slow. Confident people are not in a hurry, not pushy, not nervous or excited. Moving slowly and talking slowly at least gives the appearance of confidence. First impressions are lasting impressions. Take your time.

Waiting to talk to her is not what I mean by taking your time. If you go into her work and she’s busy, conduct your business with someone else and leave. You’re confident. If not today, tomorrow. If not her, then Stacy or Gina. Three pearls, four is better, at a minimum maintains The Right Attitude.

Step Three: Catch 22

It’s just like trying to get your first real job, not the one as a box boy. “Have you ever been an Assistant Manager? You haven’t. Sorry, we’re only hiring experienced personnel.”

Here’s the circular trap when trying to date desirable women. Success comes only from being relaxed and confident. Relaxation comes only from confidence. Confidence comes only from success.

The campaign to gain self-assurance is done slowly. It is a two pronged attack. You are relearning dating skills and building confidence in yourself as a man. There’s only one way to learn, by doing.

Therefore, you must start out pretending to be confident, so you can be successful, then you can relax because you’re confident. You create the required, self sustaining loop of success-confidence-relaxation by: Achtung! You vil do as ordered in Pearl Diving.

The Steel Balls Program: Start at the top of the age ladder and the bottom of the beauty scale. Work your way down and you automatically move up the beauty scale. The younger the woman you are dating is, the younger the next one will be. The better looking she is, the better looking the next one will be!

Step Four: Know When to Fold ‘Em

Much of the right attitude is your willingness to walk away from her. You must do it, not just imply it. In fact, this has to be your attitude the entire time you’re in the relationship with her otherwise she’ll climb into the driver’s seat.

I had been working on Marilyn for a couple of months. She was strongly interested and showed it by touching me often as we talked and “accidentally” bumping me with her delightful, tiny tits. I suggested a drink after work. She brought a teddy bear, Stephanie.

The next week we arranged another date. She didn’t show. A few days later she apologized with a weak excuse. She still touched me a lot with several body parts. I only smiled and waited.

After a week she asked me to Sunday brunch. I told her I was busy, which was the truth. The Raiders were on at ten, the Cowboys at one. “Maybe some other time. Gotta go.”

Don’t be anxious or too interested. I probably would have gone to brunch if I had not been dating Tina, then it would not have turned out as it did.

Two weeks later Marilyn asked to come over to my place “just for one drink.” Two days later she spent the night. Folding works sometimes. Nothing else ever works.

Step Five: The Competitors

Having the right attitude means you know who and what you’re up against. You don’t overestimate, you don’t underestimate. You understand the realities, then accept or decline the challenge.

Boyfriends as Competitors

Remember Leftovers and String Alongs. With them it’s boy against man. Knowledge and experience versus ineptitude and ignorance. Fear not. Your lack of hair and slow reloading time mean nothing. Both Leftovers and String Alongs are either studs or duds or shits.

Jimmy Studly. After a year she’s only a source of steady pussy. He’s just interested in shooting his load and getting back to his four wheelin’ buddies. Studly’s concerned with what they think as he “proves” to himself he’s a “man.” She’s just a girl, what would she know about “men?” Wouldn’t he be surprised?

Jimmy Dudly. The nice young man. He’s wants to marry her and have babies. He’s loving and caring but she dominates him, controls him and doesn’t respect him. He’s her safety net. She sees him only as a “fer sure” date when she needs one. She’ll lie and use him all the time. But when he gets tired of it, meets someone new and quits, she’ll go after him with everything she’s got, with no time for you. Don’t make an ass out of yourself, move on.

Jimmy Shitly. There’s one more kind of boyfriend, the guy who treats her like dog shit. He keeps her under his thumb, begging for more while he does exactly as he pleases with other girls and with his buddies.

This guy’s easy to cut in on but it’s impossible to keep dancing with her. After a month you’ll be so glad to hear her proudly announce, “I’ve absolutely, finally broken it off with Shitly.”

In a couple of days Shitly will be a little drunk and secretly want a blowjob. He’ll call her at two in the morning, crying, promising to change. She’ll rush to him and drain him completely, happy to reward him for finally becoming the man she wanted all along. Two days later, at a party where others will notice, he’ll bang Debbie, her best friend. Crushed, disbelieving, she’ll come back to you, until he calls, again.

When Shitly’s in the picture, change channels.

Mr. Rite. The young woman without a boyfriend will drop you like a rock for Mr. Rite. You have no chance against him. He has two qualities you don’t, marriable and marriable. Once she meets him you’re history. Don’t behave like a dick. You knew the score.

Young Husbands. Avoid married young females like you avoid the girl who says, “It’s only a cold sore.” When he finds out he will be humiliated and enraged far beyond her cheating with just another boy. The young husband knows he, himself, is just another boy. He can’t compete with you, thus must eliminate you (kill your ass, in plain English) or her, or both of you!

Step Six: Your Fair Advantage

The best and biggest edge, you’re a gentleman. You light her cigarette, open her car door, hold her chair, order for her, wait until she lifts her fork and all other manners discarded by most men, including me for awhile, at the demand of “strong” women in the 70s.

You register at a hotel with her at your side without becoming anxious like Jimmy does. That’s a first class hotel, of course. You don’t lecture her on why she should have taken her car to the gas station instead of to the dealer, as he does to prove he’s so smart. You don’t grab her tit in public and laugh about it. You know how to listen and empathize when she needs to get something off her chest. You’re different. More later.

You are perceived by her as powerful, not physically, but powerful in dealing with life, with her, with anything. Females of all ages are attracted by power. As one Hank Kissinger called it, “the ultimate aphrodisiac.”

Don’t brag. Don’t put down the competition. Confident men don’t have to.

Your clothes make it easy for her to quickly notice you and then realize she’s looking at an exceptional male. They immediately recognize, appreciate, admire and are attracted to a well dressed man. Make certain you’re always well dressed. Ensure you have this particular “fair advantage” in Phase One and Phase Two.

Next: Find Dream Girl »

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Featured Article

Understand Her, Chapter 2

Understand Her, Chapter 2

I describe the unsettled life and troubled times of the typical 20 year old who can become interested in dating a man. When you understand her you only need to know, on average, younger ones are worse in every way, better in none. The older ones are better in every way, worse in none. Double the general disarray of this 20 year old’s life for a 19 year old. Quadruple it for an 18 year old. If she’s still in high school, multiply by ten. For each year past 21 her problem is reduced by twenty five percent. A 23 year old living away from home has eliminated two thirds of the 20 year old’s ...

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Steel Balls
Alex from Los Angeles, CA
I found Don's books a couple of years ago. I was 35 and very frustrated and confused about women. I was tired or hearing "just be yourself" or "you're such a nice guy." I really didn't know what worked or why. After reading DonÃs books and following his program, I've had more dates in the last two weeks then I had in the last two ...
Steel Balls
Alex from Los Angeles, CA
I found Don's books a couple of years ago. I was 35 and very frustrated and confused about women. I was tired or hearing "just be yourself" or "you're such a nice guy." I really didn't know what worked or why. After reading DonÃs books and following his program, I've had more dates in the last two weeks then I had in the last two ...
Steel Balls
Chris from Las Vegas, NV
I've learned so much from one simple work shop. With the right attitude, things that used to be difficult suddenly become rather easy. I know, I'm living it right now. Things are getting so goooood in my life I can hardly stand it!
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Rob from Florida
After my divorce, dating was tough. I realized I really didn't know how to do it, I just wanted to enjoy it. Then I found read How to Date Young Women and found a way that worked for me. Now I am dating several women at the same time! Thank you Don!
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Pedro from Portugal
I am so excited with this (now dating 3 women perhaps 4), that I was almost unable to sleep thinking about best plans to court and date pearls! Thank you for everything.
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Fred Argonati from Los Angeles, CA
In the 2.5 years since I met RDS, I'm making new friends and I'm dating again. I'm physically healthier than I've ever been in my life. I learned how to take care of myself and, most of all, I learned how to like myself. I've always thanked the heavens for helping me find RDS and his wife JBL. Life would have been darker if it ...
Steel Balls
Paul from England
I watched on the sidelines as my friends dated and mated with many females. Then, I hit Don's site. I decided to buy "How To Date Young Woman for Men over 35" just to see if it would do me any good. I couldn't believe how true it was. It was as if the book had been specifically written for me. I went on to ...
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Michael Dave from Seattle, WA
I was lonely, jaded and frustrated. I wondered why this was so difficult! By reading Don's books and following his methods, I realized that I did not understand women. He taught me how to dress successfully, how to make myself attractive to women what to do and what to say. In short, how to be the man she wants me to be. Thank you Don ...
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Derek from San Francisco, CA
What a difference 60 days makes!!! I ran across steelballs.com completely by accident one day and just started scanning the site. I quickly figured out that this guy is someone that takes dating seriously! The last 60 days have shown me that small changes in small ways make for big changes in the important parts of my life. Thanks Don!!! You rock!
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Jeff from New Mexico
At 27 years old I was an angry, bitter, confused and lonely virgin. I had did not understand women. After reading Don's books, I started acting more confident. I started dressing better, wearing cologne, and picking up on body language. Females started to notice me and then it happened - that summer I had 4 or 5 young women who were interested in me! Don ...
Steel Balls
Rick from Seattle, WA
All my life prior to Don's books I was basically a wimp, scared, anti-social, terrified of meeting and talking with people and especially women. I bought Don's books on Office Politics, How to Date Young Women, Body Language and began an aggressive campaign to regain my soul, in short, I went ape-shit. For the first time in ages, I feel alive. Thanks Don for everything ...
Steel Balls
Patrick from Las Vegas, NV
After my divorce, I bought Don's book How To Date Young Women for Men Over 35 and was stunned and amazed by the content. Soon I started a year long, wonderful relationship with a 25 yr. old. When that ended, I decided not to stick with just one person and at one point I was seeing four women at the same time. To say that ...
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Carlye
It's a plresuae to find someone who can identify the issues so clearly
Steel Balls
Mason Parker from Vermont
I bought Don Steele's book, "How to Date Young Women" back in 1997. Though I had met a lot of women over the years, I usually didn't get more than one or two dates. After I read his books, I began to get more dates and the relationships lasted longer. Hearing his radio show CDs and attending workshops speeded up the process. At the workshops I ...
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Mike from Bellevue
I've been to 3 workshops now and after each one, my skills have dramatically improved. I started trying to date very late in life (at 32) and seriously stumbled many times being a clueless, nice guy. I asked all the wrong women and did not know what to do. I was a lonely, frustrated man at the end of my rope. At my first workshop, ...
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Vincent from Tucson, AZ
Before I met Don I didn't know how to dress, how to talk to women or how to get over my divorce. I learned what to say...What not to say...What to never, ever fucking say! And now I'm happily living with the girl of my dreams!
Steel Balls
Bryan Sing from Dallas, TX
I first read R. Don Steele's years ago in an attempt to improve my dating life. I was clueless about women and dating. Since then, I have had much greater success than I ever imagined dating attractive women. Surprisingly, the quest to meet and date women led to a period of self-examination and discovery that continues to this day. I have learned more about all ...
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Rob from Michigan
I went to the June TRA Workshop it was one of the best decisions I made. I was a little apprehensive I didn't know what was going to happen, I felt like I would be found out, to be a loser. Thankfully that wasn't the case, in fact I learned more then I ever expected.
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George from Los Angeles, CA
I have been to four of Don's workshops. They work wonders. The skills he teaches are priceless and can be learned nowhere else on this planet at any time in the past or in the future. I used to be clueless and 'hoped' something good would happen to me. But through Dons teachings I have found the way and the truth about women, how to ...
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Ken Kern from Wilmington, DE
I am 53 years old, and was divorced 6 years ago. I used to work 14 hours a day, had no life and then had a heart attack. The process of divorce and my heart attack ruined my life in many regards. After my divorce I tried several psychologists and found they were a total waste of time. Attending Don Steele's program led directly to feelings of ...
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Greg from Boston, MA
When I decided to get back into the dating world, I bought all your books. I married my 22 year old bride in April. Thanks a million!
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Gary from Wilmington, DE
When I first read How To date Young Women series I became a believer instantly. At the time I was grossly overweight, perpetually angry, used , and manipulated by almost everyone I knew. I was bewildered and confused about women. Through Don's books and videos, I learned about women, about relationships and about liking myself. Right now I am dating two women with a third ...
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Robert from Detroit, MI
I've been browsing the Web for 7 years and R. Don Steele's website and the discussion group is the best resource I have ever come across bar none. Low self-esteem, lack of confidence and absolutely no dating skills are things of the past. As I think about my future it looks bright for me and I know the best is yet to come.
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Mark from Los Angeles, CA
I found one of Don's books on Amazon a few weeks ago, by chance. I looked at his Website and ordered a couple of books. I've always acted as if "the nicer I am, the greater the chance she will take interest in me." Nice, nice nice...I've got "nice" down. In the past few weeks, I've replaced "nice" with Don's teaching: confident and slightly aloof. ...
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Grant from Netherlands
Three years ago I experienced the worst period in my life with regards to dating woman. Luckily one day I stumbled on How to date Young woman by Don Steele. I started to practice what Don Steele has learned from his own experience, and I soon noticed a quantum jump in my own results with woman after following his advice. I cannot express my gratitude ...

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