I describe the unsettled life and troubled times of the typical 20 year old who can become interested in dating a man. When you understand her you only need to know, on average, younger ones are worse in every way, better in none. The older ones are better in every way, worse in none.

Double the general disarray of this 20 year old’s life for a 19 year old. Quadruple it for an 18 year old. If she’s still in high school, multiply by ten.

For each year past 21 her problem is reduced by twenty five percent. A 23 year old living away from home has eliminated two thirds of the 20 year old’s negative situation, if she has no kids. With even one, her problems are twenty times greater than any 18 year old’s.

A couple of years out of high school her old world falls apart. Friends move away or marry and have kids, others stay at college all year. She’s standing with one foot in the teen-age world, the other in the adult world, at 20.

However, a female of 22 retains all the good qualities of being young but has discarded most of the baggage and burdens of youth. With her enlarged sense of self she’s much simpler to deal with, requiring far less time and energy on your part initially and throughout the affair. But, I had to find out for myself about 18 year olds. You will too, probably.

THE TYPICAL 20 YEAR OLD

She lives with a couple of roommates but only recently left home. She’s never lived with her boyfriend. She has a job or is going to college. She has a car. She doesn’t have a drug problem. She may have had an abortion, the odds are 80-20 against it. Her IQ is 110. She gave her first hand job at 15, then gave up her virginity at the Junior Prom. Her best sex was with some guy she picked up one weekend in Palm Springs. He was 26 but never called when she got back to LA like he promised.

She smokes marijuana , does a bump or snorts coke at parties and at home when she’s bored. She drinks at home, at parties and in clubs and bars where she sees herself as a grown up. She’s not shy but not a rowdy extrovert either. She follows fashion but isn’t a trendy person. She’s had the same boyfriend for a year and a half. At 23, he still lives with his parents and has a job, sometimes.

To really understand her, get your fogged up memory working. Think back 20 years. What was it like being powerless? What was it like to only have a few dollars? What was it like thinking everyone was watching you? What was it like not knowing what you were doing, having to bullshit your way through? Remember what an asshole you were at 20. Recall how totally cool you pretended to be, acting like you knew all about life and love. She’s no different.

CONFLICT, CONFUSION—SITUATION NORMAL

She’s internalized most values our culture sanctimoniously preaches but she’s beginning to notice widespread hypocrisy. She is questioning the rationality of some ideas and is considering the possibility that many rules for behavior are wrong, not just for her, but for all society.

Strong, conflicting emotions generated by her own mutually exclusive values and goals cause moods to come and go without warning. She often feels out of control and compensates for it by believing in something, anything. In short, a self-contradicting blend of the rules and brainwashing done by the FOUR Ps:  Parents, Preachers, Professors and Politicians.

She’s trying to become the woman she has tacked up on the wall inside her head. Comparing herself to that ideal every day, she finds herself lacking. She is confused about life, love, sex, marriage, babies, career, parents, boyfriends, lovers and on and on. Her life is a jumble. Unsettled about the future, she decides “once and for all” at least twice a month. She’s insecure because of her lack of knowledge, experience, power, money and independence. When comparing herself to other young women, she sees only their facades of self confidence. Having no idea her friends are just as uncertain, she feels isolated, alone. The more insecure she is, the more she covers it up. She appears aloof, cool and sophisticated, especially to you.

Thoughts and feelings arise from nowhere. She wants to stab her Dad and choke her 13 year old sister because the brat gets to do everything she was forbidden at that age. She feels sick for wanting to feel her co-worker’s big tits. Guilt arises when announcing she doesn’t go to church any more. After masturbating she wonders if God was really watching. Sometimes she’s so terribly lonely she seriously considers killing herself. To her there’s no reason for these feelings. Her problems seem monumental. She has no idea it’s normal, late adolescent dues paying. She has no perspective from which to judge.

For months she knows what she is and what she wants, then suddenly she has a change of heart. No longer does she want to be a Cosmo Girl, she wants to be a trendy teenager again. Six weeks later she changes her image to Yuppie In Training. After working in an office for a half a year she realizes how hard it is to make money. Then she goes to a romantic movie with Jimmy. They talk about getting married. She decides she’d like to stay at home, an ivy covered cottage, and raise two cute kids.

She believes that if she does the right things, eventually she’ll be rewarded. To her there’s only one right way to do anything, including having a relationship with a male. You’re a male. Prepare yourself.

“It will be easy when I’m 28,” is one of her deeply held beliefs. She thinks she’ll be able to cope effectively with “men,” parents and life in general. All young people think everything’s supposed to go smoothly. They have no idea life is nothing but a series of obstacles, feeling God or fate is punishing or testing them when a problem comes into their lives.

When she meets a male in society’s acceptable age range she sees only a potential husband. She and her counterparts believe in the nuclear family and want to be the center of one someday. The difference is, in her family everyone will be happy. She thinks she can make it work, just as you and I did.

Don’t argue or try to convince her she’s wrong about this belief or any others. Only offer your views if pressed severely. It is not useful to debate with her. Life, and you’re part of life, will eventually prove how ridiculous and hypocritical most of our culture’s rules, traditions and gender-specific goals are.

The self concept she developed from six years old until she started her period is lurking in the background. Her new self is solidifying but it’s in constant jeopardy as she confronts more and more of what the adult world has to offer, including you. Under stress she turns into a brat of eleven you’d love to strangle or a frightened five year old you have to hold on your lap.

She feels like a failure from her sophomore year of high school on, if she does not have a boyfriend. It doesn’t mean she won’t have an affair with you even if she has a boyfriend. It only means he ensures she won’t have to stay home on Saturday night.

She wants to be independent but fears being alone. She was raised to be a virgin when she married but “does it” all the time with Jimmy. She dreams of being rich and famous. She enjoys pretending she’s an adult but likes to be babied.

She and most of her friends, male and female, have whacked out parents — neurotic parents, dying parents, divorcing parents, Jesus freak parents, alcoholic parents, possessive parents, neglecting mothers or molesting fathers. She wants O-U-T, out.

She hates her job, it’s menial and boring. Her boss “teases” her about taking her on a “business” trip and keeps wanting to rub her back.

Her friends are only fair in good weather. Debbie, her best friend, was kissing Jimmy at the party last week. But, she wants her friends to think she’s cool. She wants to make lots of money, spend it on cool clothes, cool cars, cool travel, on being “totally” cool. She and her counterparts are superficial not because they are genuinely phony, but because the world’s still a bit too big for them.

She is experimenting with life, testing herself to see how powerful she really is. At the same time she’s searching for a stable identity, choosing and rechoosing, marriage or college, getting a job and moving out or staying at home and doing nothing.

Older guys, it is a time of stress and pressure you have forgotten about. To her the stress and pressure are real even if, to you, it is lightweight, solvable stuff. When she meets you she suspects you’re married and lying about being divorced. Don’t press the point. She considers herself sophisticated for being suspicious.

She’s still becoming the person she’s going to be while you’re trying to un-become the person you’ve been. You’re trying to return to adolescence. She’s leaving it behind.

YOU CAUSE EVEN MORE CONFUSION

Just yesterday afternoon she was lying in your arms contented as a puppy with a full tummy. Today, after a fender bender, the whole universe is falling apart.

She’s confused by the flood of emotions you cause in her. During one week she feels elated, guilty, foolish, sexual, womanly, appreciated, accepted, curious, ignorant, naive, inept, silly, whorish, glamorous, sad, sensual, romantic, grown-up, lustful, horny, sated, terrified, brave, embarrassed, proud, shy, exhibitionistic, childlike, daughter-like and a hundred others you and I can’t empathize with.

Carla and I were lying in bed after superb orgasmic sex that lasted for a half an hour. As the glow faded, she said in a tiny, painful voice, “A year ago I was a virgin! Things are not like they told me.”

She thinks she must be in love, otherwise she wouldn’t be having such grand sex with you. At the same time she thinks, often out loud, “What am I doing?” She’s breaking all the rules and gets a charge out of doing just that. But, on her way home she feels like a cheap slut for sucking a cock.

She’s volatile, impulsive and irrational. Her confusion drives you crazy. She picks a fight so she can break up with you. She cancels a date and makes sure you know on some level she’s going out with a boy. She’s young, confused, ignorant and scared. If your affair’s been going for three months or more, add bored.

Sounds pretty negative, right? Well, my friend, I chose to tell you the bad news first. Why? Because if you think everything’s going to be easy or you’re not interested in taking the bad with the wonderful, you can put the book down now. Call up that 33 year old with three kids. Or, you can get back to important activities, like watching TV or hanging out in bars.

If you’re serious about young women, keep reading and absorb the negatives. Digest them. Mull them over. They are key to understanding her, something you must do before you can ever hope to talk with her, let alone date her. In a few chapters, you’ll get the good news.

THE 20 YEAR OLD’S AGENDA

She’s primarily interested in getting a husband-to-be on the hook. (Much more later in Boyfriends.) It takes her a year of going steady to feel she’s got him under control.

Once this is accomplished she wants to see what she’s been missing. She goes dancing or to parties with “the girls” where she practices interacting with new boys and young men. After a few months she’s ready. Her experimentation begins with another boy, her naive version of an affair.

She enjoys the excitement of getting away with something but then realizes he’s only a boy just like Jimmy. She wants to try on a “man,” so she finds one, Randy RedPorsche, a 28 year old singles’ bar professional. He bangs her on Thursday nights when she’s “out with the girls” and on Monday nights when Jimmy’s “out with the boys.”

When Jimmy finds out, he breaks up with her. But soon, RedPorsche gets bored and trashes her. She begs Jimmy to take her back. He does. Each claims to have discovered how much he really loves the other after only four weeks apart. They prove it by exchanging wedding vows. In reality they’re both terrified of the single world, so they flee to the “safety” of marriage and a “dependable” partner.

If Jimmy won’t take her back she tries a brief but uninspired crack at single life. After getting screwed literally and figuratively by one user after another, two things are possible. Either she becomes as plastic as the rest and starts hanging out in pickup bars. Or, if you’re lucky, she drops out of the swinging singles’ world and dates several young men she knew from high school or met at college as she searches for another husband-to-be.

If you meet her after the breakup you have a much better chance with her than before her first fling. If she’s abandoned the bar scene your chances improve ten times. If she and her boyfriend are working on their relationship you’re chances are a hundred times better. “Working on” means she’s keeping her freedom to date or he is. They go out with each other only when lonely, bored or horny.

Back up a bit. Let’s assume she wasn’t going steady but was living with her boyfriend for a year.

At first she enjoys playing house and acting like a grown-up, at least what she fantasizes adults behave like. As time goes by it becomes apparent this is not as much fun as it should be but she does not discuss it with him, she only complains to her girl friends or her mother. The younger, the more she feels she’s missing out on what her contemporaries are experiencing.

If she hasn’t given up on her mini-marriage she tries to go out with the girls. He feels insecure and reacts according to his personality, machoing out and insisting she stay home or wimping out, acting like his whole world is ending. No matter which way he reacts she’s so angry she feels free to cheat on him and does, with the first male of any age who treats her nice.

Her motive is to hurt him and get him to change, meaning she has to get caught. If Jimmy’s too trusting or too dumb to figure it out, she confesses in order to create the scene(s) necessary for Jimmy to change. You are paying attention, aren’t you?

This couple struggles along until they get married or one of them meets somebody new, and leaves. If a primary motive for moving in with him was to escape neurotic parents, she will live with a couple of girl friends while she looks for a new husband-to-be.

These events are typical for those who don’t marry within two years out of high school. She has this experience between 17 and 23, depending on her maturity, but for most it happens when she’s 20, plus or minus a year.

WHAT SHE KNOWS ABOUT SEX

Mummy and Daddy pounded it into her young head boys are only interested in one thing. By the age of 20 she believes it. Every male to date has tried to pack her pipe within hours or on the second date. The exception is her boyfriend, he was “honorable” for at least for a month.

Her actual experience is mostly mediocre intercourse with possibly one good, not great, lover. Contrary to the media’s exploitation, most young women engage in sexual relations only with fiancées or steady boyfriends.

However, when she doesn’t have a boyfriend, a likable, young enough to marry guy (22-29) dates her easily and gets in her pants quickly. He has a wide choice of young women and she knows it. Experience has taught her to “get it on” or he won’t be back, then there’ll be no chance to hook a potential husband. After ten or more of these encounters that take place between boyfriends, she finally realizes these young men are using her intense desire to become Queen For A Day to get her on her back. At that point she begins playing “The Dating Game” much rougher with all males, including you. She’s reached 23 or 24 by then.

The young men who precede you think eating pussy is something one does only to get head in return. They are not concerned with her pleasure or enjoyment except for Randy RedPorsche’s younger brother, Danny Manly. He wants her to believe he’s super stud so she’ll rave about him to her girl friends. He hopes word will get back to his buddies so they will think he’s a “real man.” Other boys and young men, including her boyfriend, don’t encourage her to take an active part in any sexual activities except when they want a blowjob. She’s only a notch on their guns. But each and every time, she hoped to be loved.

In my experience only a few young women have ever achieved orgasm as the result of a young partner’s actions. And, with some of them, it was only an accident, an unrepeatable accident. (Don’t concern yourself with this the first few times, as explained in Sex With Her.) Most just give in to intercourse, and although it’s pleasurable, it’s not like in the movies or her trashy romance novels.

She believes sex is okay, it feels good but it’s not all that great. She can’t understand what all the excitement’s about. After lying to her and manipulating her for weeks, he comes in 30 to 90 seconds. She and her contemporaries just don’t have any great experiences they’re trying to repeat.

Young women rarely need sex like their older counterparts who’ve discovered, by about 28, that priests and all other purveyors of anti-sex propaganda were, and are, full of shit. Very seldom will you meet a young woman who loves sex. Those who do began early. They’re rebellious, independent and have learned to take charge of their own orgasms. If she’s had an older boyfriend who could sustain intercourse, she finds sex wonderful, fun and nourishing.

HER FIRST MAN

She heard about dirty old men as she was growing up. The tone of voice and disapproving faces made her fear older men. When she was 14, Mr. Pious, the Sunday school teacher, Mr. Boneher, the History Teacher, Dr. Feelit, her pediatrician, or even her own Uncle Dick, tried to fuck her. She didn’t expect it. She trusted him. She thought it would be some stranger hiding in a dark alley. All this is in the back of her pretty head. Don’t even talk like the man Mummy warned her about.

EXPERIENCE CAN HELP, BUT

Most limit themselves to young males, you know, marriable. That’s why they’re disappointed, unfulfilled and interested in you. An experienced 21 year old’s idea of variety means a tall boy, a muscled boy, a black boy, a chubby boy and for a radical thrill, Randy RedPorsche’s roomie, the 29 year old Sammy SilverBeemer.

Living with a boy does not help her all that much. It does get her over the mystery of sex, helps clear up unrealistic ideas she had about male plumbing and does away with old wives’ tales.

Those who have lived with their boyfriends are sexually experienced to his level, meaning they have tried everything he knows. She doesn’t get to learn how to really enjoy herself because he is so limited in his knowledge and ability. If she attempts to be assertive he’s intimidated and manipulates her out of experimenting with anything except “swallowing it” or trying the “back door.”

UNDERSTANDING ALL 18-24 YEAR OLDS

Young women, even girls as young a 14, have the same undesirable, unpleasant qualities of adult women, they are catty and viciously competitive over males. Don’t be surprised if you have to contend with the 17 year old sister of your 21 year old lover vying for your attention and favors.

Although this sounds like it might be fun, it isn’t. It turns ugly quickly if either gets her ego bruised. One will threaten to tell dad or the other’s boyfriend.

Random Thoughts. The world feels new and fresh to the young. They sincerely feel it can be changed and believe they’re the ones who can do it. Never be cynical or laugh at her idealism.

Young females need to be hugged and cuddled. When you get the chance give her plenty of both.

They are not comfortable with competition or competing except with each other for males. Don’t stress winning when involved in any sport if she’s around. Don’t drive like it’s Memorial Day at Indy. Don’t play any video games with her if you share the view of Al Davis of the Raiders, “Just Win, Baby.” Don’t let her win but don’t take any game seriously.

Girls from the extreme upper and lower socio-economic levels experience intercourse younger. Nothing matters, they have too much or too little. I don’t discuss them.

The girl who places high value on academic achievement is strikeout city. Her focus is in the wrong place to enjoy you while she’s pleasing her parents or society with a high GPA.

None of them fuck like they dance. None of them fuck like they dress. They have no idea how overdone they are in these two areas.

Her soap operas, television programs and trash novels have convinced her “sugar” comes with the territory if you’re over 35ish. She’s not really a gold digger. She just thinks that’s part of the deal. Squash this concept early on and I mean right away.

However, it is okay to be somewhat nice to her. Take her places Jimmy never would. Small, inexpensive, thoughtful gifts are appropriate. Bigger things come later, at the same time you’d give them to a woman you enjoyed dating for months and months.

When she begins reading Cosmopolitan your star shines far brighter. Buy her a subscription.

There is a period each year when you can count on a thin supply of young women, Election Day through New Year’s Day. Most grit their teeth and endure horrible treatment by their boyfriends or put off breaking up with a someone who bores them shitless. They believe and it feels like it that their world will end without “someone special” in their lives during the holidays.

Even worse, they get serious with anyone they’re even casually dating in November to ensure they can share “the joy of Christmas.” Watch out! This includes you. Tactfully keep your distance but send or give her a nice gift. Stay in contact. She’ll recover from this culturally induced madness just in time for a truly important event, the Super Bowl.

    General Advice. Lower your desire for physical beauty from 9.5 to 7.5 and watch fifty percent of the competition disappear. If you concentrate on 9.0 and above you’ll be frustrated and humiliated most of the time. Stick with 6.5’s to 8.0’s. From my experience the young woman who is average looking with an average figure is easier to meet, a much nicer person, a better human being, as well as being more fun than any stunning looking one. She feels appreciated for the first time in her life. She is.

Forget the high schooler. Her head is up her ass and will be for two more years. Proms, football games, Friday dances, Jimmy’s bitchin’, totally rad, new Vee Dub convertible.

Forget the big titted girl. The competition is, pardon the pun, too stiff. Every male within 500 miles is interested. If you insist on trying, never mention her figure and don’t even sneak a peek at those double D’s.

Forget the beauty queen. Or any beauty. The competition is, pardon the same pun, too stiff. She’s able to pick and choose and she’s heard it all before from practiced experts. Too much trouble, thinks she really is a princess. Besides, you have to deal with the attention she attracts no matter where you go. People notice and remember you being with her. Not a great idea.

Forget the disco dolly. She’s the one who spends two hours getting ready for work, three hours for the disco. Her $170 hair cut requires 90 minutes for curling and spraying. She wears the latest, most expensive clothes, usually $300 worth just to go dancing. She’s concerned only with image, too insecure to be herself, while looking for a disco dick to impress and marry.

Forget all born agains. And girls with doves, fish or “I Love Jesus” symbols on their cars or around their necks. They look normal. Some can even talk normal. Believe brother, believe. They’re marching to the beat of a different drummer. Say Amen.

Whim Driven. The younger, the more ruled by instant gratification they are. For example, a 22 year old can agree to a trip to Palm Springs in two weeks and wait, then turn down a “better offer” three days before departure. A typical 19 year old has difficulty keeping a date to go night skiing at Big Bear three days from now. If girl friends call and want her to go to Vegas a few hours before she’s due at your place, she’ll call and apologize, maybe.

As she spends more and more time with you the more realistic she becomes no matter how young she is. Just being around you has a tranquilizing effect on her. No longer is everything ruled hour by hour. In only a month she’s thinking ahead two or three days at a time. Eventually she can plan from week to week. If you last long enough, from month to month. You’ll never make it until she’s able to think, plan and execute six months in advance.

As I’m writing this I’m planning a trip to Hawaii with a 19 year old. Our affair has been going for nine months. Recently she’s learned it is possible to plan ahead. Two months into the relationship she was still so impulsive she ruined a three day weekend not being able to turn down a “better offer” at the last moment. We survived my ensuing explosion. I won’t predict if it’ll be Aloha or Adios in two more months.

Teddy Bears. The younger she is, the more suspect you are. Sometimes she drags along her Teddy Bear, a female friend, on the first pseudo date. Don’t resent it. She has to take this initial step on her terms, not yours. Her friend serves several functions — body guard, validation of your attractiveness, support in case you overwhelm her, someone to talk with or get her out if you’re boring. This can happen even if you’re 22.

Teddy comes along until your chosen feels safe with you. This includes day ski trips, beach excursions, a “spontaneous” dinner or anything else. Be enthusiastic about it. Include Teddy in all conversations and fun. Make friends with her. She will be grading you. Remember, she has the ear of your future lover and will certainly bend it.

It’s not productive to flirt strongly with Teddy but let her know you find her pleasant and attractive as a female. If you patronize Teddy, you can shine it on, forever.

Anytime there are two females involved things get complicated quickly. If you’re older, Teddy, especially if she’s more experienced, may have given herself the assignment of testing you under battle conditions. She’ll bait you with emotionally loaded questions about sex or religion. Teddy may even bluntly ask how your children handled the divorce! If she’s attracted to you she may resent her feelings and try to destroy you in front of her friend so neither can have you. Strange? Yes, but true.

If Teddy decides she wants you for herself she undermines everything you’ve built to date. In the end she will feel like shit for what she did and won’t go out with you, either.

The younger she is, the more likely she’ll bring Teddy along. I even had it happen with a 26 year old.

Rebs and Others. Young women come in two basic models—conformists and rebels. Rebs are outnumbered twenty to one but what a great group. They aren’t hard to spot. Sometimes they are wearing something outlandish. However, I can tell by her walk, confident, arrogant, strong and sometimes like she has a chip on her shoulder.

For entertainment they intentionally piss off their parents or boyfriends. By being a rebel she defines herself as different from her parents, different from peers, different from adults of any kind. But, she’s just different, having only found who and what she isn’t.

Rebels are the ones who will date someone 10 or more years older than she is. Learn how to recognize them. Then identify the one who’s interested in you. Read my Body Language Secrets!

Lookie Lous Will Make It With You. Many have been interested in me only because they were curious. After a couple of dates they go to bed with me once or twice, then I never hear from them again. They found out what they wanted to know and decided, “It’s not all that hot.” Or they’re so guilt ridden about Jimmy they can’t continue.

The ones who didn’t like me search for excitement with some other grown-up male. Those who feel guilty go back to “messin’ around” with boys, somehow that’s not bad. Or, they make up for their sin with me by getting engaged to Jimmy and remain monogamous until a year after the honeymoon.

Relax, accept being a curiosity. Don’t feel indignant. She’s just looking. You’re an experiment in her life. That’s how she learns. Be glad you could help.

HER MOTIVES FOR DATING YOU

Older guys, you’re asking her to go against everything parents, boyfriend, church, society and girl friends have drilled into that pretty young head and heart of hers. Why will she do it?

One element of her motivation is the desire to be seriously fucked, the way she’s heard it’s supposed to be done. As you now know her best experience does not begin to measure up to what she’s heard from other girls, read in Cosmopolitan or seen in the movies. And, “fer sure,” there is the stereotype of men as knowledgeable, experienced lovers.

She knows there must be more to it. But this is one of her darkest, most closely held secrets, slightly behind masturbating and feeling terribly lonely. She fantasizes what a “real man” would do with her. If she’s a bit drunk she talks to her closest girl friend about what it should be like. Don’t get this wrong. She’s not obsessed with sex but wonders if she’s missing something important.

So far her boyfriend’s best efforts aren’t much. He wants his cock sucked all the time. He’s reluctant to give her head and has no idea a clit isn’t a miniature dick, if he even knows where it is. He lasts two minutes or less after entering her. She and her contemporaries know, on some level, there’s more to it.

Part of the attraction is your age. It makes you different, plain and simple. You are attracted to her because she’s different from 33 year old divorcees. (How’s that for an understatement?) Also, your age qualifies you to participate with her in a forbidden romance, a turn on to females of any age.

She wants to experience life. You have the knowledge and money to show her a world she’s only seen on television and read about in People. Older lovers have lots to offer says Cosmopolitan. One of her girl friend’s acquaintances has one. She’s ready to give it a try.

She may want to shame and degrade her parents. This girl plays a game called The Goy Ploy. She picks a male to infuriate and embarrass her parents—a goy if she’s Jewish, or a Jew if her parents found Jesus. Others to piss off Mum and Dad—bikers, Mexicans, punks or an older man. Paying attention?

She has to get caught with you so she can make a giant scene(s) to rub her parent’s noses in the whole sordid affair. That’ll show them they were bad to her. Then they’ll see it’s their fault she turned out to be a bad girl.

Daughters of the rich sometimes are just bored and want to do something “totally radical.” But, poor little rich girls play Goy Ploy, too. Be extra careful. Irate wealthy parents like to prove themselves blameless by threatening legal action or using their connections to punish you “for seducing our sweet, innocent baby girl.”

Foolish Assumptions of Mine. As a married man I was able to easily meet and date young women. After a few conversations and lunch she’d realize I only wanted to nail her to the mattress, then to the wall at the nearest motel.

After three of these affairs I realized it was not necessary to beat around the bush, so to pun. I only had to be discreet and make it tactfully clear what I wanted. She simply chose to participate in some serious fucking or diplomatically passed. She knew from my approach and attitude that if she played “chase me, catch me, fuck me” I’d lose interest and she’d lose “fuck me.” Courtship was simpler and faster then. No confusion about long term possibilities, the goal was straightforward.

My foolish assumption—after getting divorced I would be able to meet and have real dates with young women.

WRONG! Married men are toys, nothing to take seriously.

When she dates a married man she doesn’t feel used. She knows what the score is. If she gets entangled she only blames herself because she reads advice blogs every day.

Now that I’m single, she’s confused about my purpose and goal. “He’s kind of a potential husband but he’s so old.” Everything’s muddled. She wants to get married someday but she’s been used and lied to by every guy over 26 she’s ever been out with. No matter what I say or do she thinks I am primarily interested in her slit.

I’m something she’s not encountered before. I don’t want to just nail her. I want to have a caring, romantic, fun-filled affair for as long as we enjoy each other. She knows that on some level from my attitude and approach, sometimes she even asks me directly.

“Gosh! an affair? Really? You know, like, I don’ know. Jeez. What about my boyfriend?”

To answer that question and to really understand her, you have to be clear on why she almost always has a boyfriend. But first you need to know Which Young Women, otherwise, you’ll waste time pursuing the wrong one.

Which Young Women is Chapter 3